My Relationship with Food: A Lifelong Journey of Healing, Nourishment, and Self-Acceptance

I’ve often said that food is love—but for much of my life, food was also fear, guilt, and confusion. My relationship with food has been a winding path through the decades: shaped by societal expectations, transformed by motherhood, and deepened by self-awareness and age. Now, in my post-menopausal years, I’m finally learning to eat for health, for joy, and for me.

The Skinny Era: Growing Up in the 70s and 80s

Like many girls who came of age in the 70s and 80s, I grew up during what I call “The Skinny Era.” Thin was everything. The cultural message was loud and clear: your value as a girl—your beauty, your worth—was directly tied to your ability to be slim. Never mind genetics, hormones, or even basic nutrition. We were sold cottage cheese and Tab, Jane Fonda workouts and rice cakes, and we believed the lie that thinness equaled health (and happiness).

Food wasn’t nourishment back then. It was something to be controlled, feared, and—if you were “bad”—punished for. I remember learning calorie counts before I ever learned how to balance a checkbook. I internalized all of it, as so many of us did. And while I didn’t know it at the time, those early years would set the stage for decades of disordered thinking around food and my body.

Shifting Gears: Career, Motherhood, and the Desire to Do Better

In my twenties and thirties, life got busy—fast. I entered the professional world and became a mom. Suddenly, I wasn’t just feeding myself anymore; I was responsible for nourishing a family. Something in me shifted.

I started to look at food differently—not as something to restrict, but as something to offer. I wanted my kids to grow up with a better foundation than I had, to see food as something that fueled their bodies, gave them strength, and brought us together as a family. I experimented with new recipes, leaned into whole foods, and prioritized sitting down to eat together. I still had my own internal battles with food and weight, but my focus was clear: I wanted to create a healthier relationship with food for the next generation.

But no matter how “healthy” I tried to eat, my body was changing.

Hormones, Weight Gain, and a Whole New Set of Rules

In my forties, my body started to feel foreign to me. The metabolism that once worked on autopilot slowed to a crawl. I found myself gaining weight despite eating well and staying active. I felt tired, bloated, moody, and often defeated. I tried everything I knew—but it wasn’t enough.

Hormones were in the driver’s seat now, and they weren’t taking requests.

Menopause was a turning point—not just physically, but emotionally. I was angry at my body. I felt betrayed by it. But slowly, I began to understand: my body wasn’t betraying me. It was changing, evolving, doing its best to adapt. And maybe, just maybe, I needed to stop fighting it and start listening to it.

Now: Healing, Nourishing, and Choosing Health Over Perfection

Today, I am post-menopausal and in a new season of life. I no longer chase skinny. I chase strong, healthy, balanced, and well. I’m working to heal the damage done by years of restriction, bad diet advice, and self-criticism. I focus on real food, on protein and fiber, on good fats, hydration, and joyful movement. I still love baking. I still eat dessert. But I no longer use food as a weapon against myself.

I’m also learning to honor what my body needs rather than what the diet culture demands. I’ve realized that health isn’t a number on the scale—it’s how you feel in your body, how you sleep at night, how you move through your days. It’s about energy, digestion, brain clarity, and peace of mind.

And yes, I still carry the echoes of those early years—the pressure to be thin, the shame around eating, the fear of gaining weight. But I also carry wisdom now. I know better, so I do better.

To Anyone Reading This

If you’ve ever struggled with food, weight, or body image—you're not alone. And it's never too late to rewrite your story. Your body is not your enemy. Food is not a moral issue. And you are worthy of love, health, and joy at every size and every stage of life.

Start small. Choose whole foods when you can. Listen to your body. Forgive yourself. And most importantly, remember that food is meant to nourish—not just your body, but your spirit too.

This is still a journey, and I’m walking it every day. But now, I walk it with compassion, intention, and a plate full of real, delicious food that fuels the life I want to live.